I was teaching a presentation skills class yesterday and one of the participants was presenting about using Twitter as a marketing strategy. This person worked for an advertising and PR agency who often tweets on behalf of their clients. I heard a story about how this employee had to create the tweet and send it to her supervisor for approval. The supervisor would then send it to the client for approval. Once approved, the supervisor would send the approval to the employee who would then post the tweet.  By that time, it can be “old news.”

This process isn’t very effective. It’s way too time consuming. If the supervisor is not available when the tweet need to be tweeted, valuable time is wasted. Why not just send it to the client directly? While the supervisor was on vacation, this is exactly what happened and the client replied with approval within seconds. This is a much more efficient process which makes the case for empowering employees to do their job without a “middleman.”

Additionally, when there are too many links in the chain messages can get distorted. In the above case a 144 character email message was simply being forwarded for approval so there isn’t much chance the message will get distorted. If a message is being communicated orally, however, and goes through several people to get to the intended receiver, there is a great probability the message sent might not be the message received. Remember the game telephone operator we played in grade school?

So, whenever you can, eliminate unnecessary links in the chain. You’ll be more efficient and have fewer communication breakdowns.

So, there I was in Greece. The first time I had traveled in Europe and I was jazzed!  For the past 25 years I had been teaching people how to communicate through my workshops, seminars and national PBS television series.   I thought I knew it all.  How wrong I was!  Within 24 hours, I had a great wake-up call and his name was Aldo.

 We had gathered on the terrace of the hotel in the old town in Rhodes where a group had assembled to explore the ancient castles and go shopping.  We were in Greece to celebrate the wedding of some friends. I was soon introduced to Aldo, an Italian man who arrived from Venice to join our group.  Before long, he and I were alone on the terrace and began chatting in English.  Or, I should say, I began jabbering in English.   I thought we were doing great until he, looking a bit confused, smiled, reached over, gently grabbed my arm, and said, “Please, you’ve got to slow down!”

 Aldo reminded me how arrogant Americans can be, expecting everyone to know and understand English.  He reminded me how important it is to be fully present and mindful in each and every interaction.  And, he reminded me to slow down.

This experience was the inspiration for a four part communication process I call The Way of ALDO.

 1.  Assume nothing; keep an open mind and never take anything for granted.  When in doubt, check it out! 

2.  Listen carefully. Show the speaker you care. Nod your head. Give eye-contact.

3.  Don’t rush. Enjoy the conversation.  Be with it wherever it leads you.

4.  Observe everything– the sparkle in the eye, the sky above, the smells around you, the wind against your skin. Simply be fully present with the encounter. 

Sometimes we have to travel a long distance to re-discover a simple truth; life is not a race, but rather an experience to be savored.  Thus, The Way of Aldo.  Use it. It works!

I was looking at a popular training company’s website today (I should know what the competition is up to) and when I clicked on the link for presentation skills training, clipart started talking to me. In the box on the right hand side of the screen, a clipart lady with creepy eyes started telling me how this company was the best at providing presentation skills training.

My first thought was, if this is the best you can do, why would I want to give you any money to train any real people? It’s so easy to put video on the web, why not do that? I mentioned it to a friend of mine who is an expert in generations at work and she quickly told me I was not the audience they were after. Younger generations are into AVATARS and so this clip art lady was suppose to appeal to them.  All I could say then was, “With their resources they should get someone to design a better AVATAR!” 

There has been a lot of public death in the air lately. Farrah. Michael. Billy the Pitchman. Airplanes crashing. And yet, when it’s so public, we often think it won’t happen to us. But, I learned yesterday it can and will happen to all of us. We just never know when.

I got news that a very close friend was diagnosed with lung cancer. This news came now but it was detemined there had been a mistake made by the hospital in 2007. That error put him two years behind treatment. We spoke on the phone for a long time at a level of communication not often used between people.

It got me thinking how much time we waste at work and at home dealing with or in most cases not dealing with communication breakdown while we avoid the tough conversations that can help us work through things. It’s so much easier just to say “I’m hanging up now.”

We’re all gonna die anyway, so why aren’t we making more time  to work through our conflicts or to simply agree to disagree? Why aren’t we making more time  to talk to each other NOW? No telling what tomorrow will bring.

Is it the Recession? Is it Depression (not the financial kind but the emotional kind)? Is it time management? Or is it just simple laziness????

I have noticed more and more people lately are downright rude. They don’t return phone calls. They don’t respond to emails. They cut people off in traffic. Overall, I wonder what’s happening to basic niceness. Have we become so caught up in our own stuff that we have forgotten how to be courteous?

Case in point…I got a call from someone who was interested in my  services. We had a great initial chat talking about her goals, the options I could present, the prices and available calendar dates. When we hung up she said she’d be in touch.

I waited a few weeks and courteously followed-up with a phone call. I left voice mail and never heard anything.  I waited another couple of weeks and followed up with email. No response. I started to feel like a stalker so I left a final voice mail to that effect asking her to please let me know the status so I could stop bugging her. Still no response. I have a three follow-up rule so if I don’t get any response by the third time, I let it go.

It got me thinking though, how much time would it have taken  her to simply tell me it wasn’t going to work out? Instead, she just ignored me. I think that’s rude!

I recommend the little book The Power of Nice written by Koval and Kaplan-Thaler. The authors show us how nice people finish first, not last!

While teaching a communication class last week I was once again reminded that when it comes to communication tools and techniques, nothing is going to work all of the time with all of the people. There are just too many variables involved.

On the second day of the class someone asked a question that elicited a very strong response from two members of the group. The context of the question was political and these two people clearly had strong opinions. I let it go one for a few minutes and then I interupted and made the point that when it comes to religion and politics, people need to tred very lightly. These are two topics people tend to have VERY strong beliefs about and unless all parties are willing to stay opened-minded and be willing to hear the other side, the conversation is likely to go nowhere. That’s exactly what happened. The conversation erupted and went nowhere. I suggested we take a break and start over on a different topic when we came back together.

I know certain people in my life with whom my views are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to politics and religion. I have learned to avoid those topics at all costs. No one can win. So the next time you see the conversation taking a turn toward the point of no return, suggest a break or a change of subject. Simply, agree to disagree. It works!

As I was sitting in my client’s office trying to have a conversation about an upcoming training event, I noticed I was only getting about 50% of her attention. She kept looking at her computer screen. I began to wonder what was so important so I asked if maybe she wanted to reschedule the meeting when she didn’t need to be waiting for an important email.

She told me she was following some people on Twitter. Twitter?  I asked. She showed me what it was and proceeded to tell me how cool it was to know what so and so was saying, doing or thinking in real time. It’s social media and everyone should be Tweeting. Really? Everyone?

My curiousity got the best of me so I created an account and tried to see what all the hoopla was about. I spent some time checking it out. I don’t get it. Does that make me an old fart? Maybe. Does that make me out of touch with what’s hip and cool? Maybe. What it does make me is someone who thinks people must not have enough to do if they can follow so many others and be connected at every minute.  I saw one guy who follows 2500 people. To him I say, “Get a life.”

I kept thinking how rude it was that my client was more interested in the computer screen and who was tweeting than she was in discussing the project she was paying me to do.

Maybe some people can benefit from Twitter but I don’t think it’s meant for everyone–especially if what you’re selling won’t be seen on Twitter by the people buying.

We all know there isn’t a lot of great news these days. We have an economy in free-fall, outlandish unemployment, on-going wars that seemingly have no end, millions without health insurance and a plethora of other problems facing us all. So, how do we stay up in these down times?

I was talking to my friend Steven today who is an amazing guy in his forties who is currently living in his mother’s retirement community home in Arizona because he had to close his branding business in New York due to the failing economy. He’s applying for jobs at places like Costco and Whole Foods Market without any success. He’s clearly way over qualified but willing to do whatever it takes to pay the bills. I was inspired listening to him say he still gets up every day excited to see what the day will bring.

That’s how we stay up in down times. We wake up each day and remind ourselves it’s a new day and anything can happen.  All it takes is one thing to change everything.

We need to remember to keep our focus in the present moment. I remembered what it was like  in 1983 when I was almost homeless and working as a waitress. The only thing that kept me going was my mantra, “This is what I’m doing for now.”  As my “mentor” Ram Das would say, “Be Here Now!” Really, there is no other place to be.

I was at the vet last week getting a special prescription food for my 11 year old lab. The cost had gone up 25% since the last time I purchased the food. I commented on the big jump in price and the receptionist agreed that it was a very big jump, indeed.  I asked if there was an alternative I could use and she said she would have the doctor call me. I left my cell number and waited for a call back.  It never came. 

After waiting four days for the vet to call, I decided I might be able to do better online so I spent some time surfing the net to see if I could find the food for less than the vet was charging. My search was hopeless. The company making the food does not allow anyone who carries it to discount the price.

I went back to the vet (no sense paying shipping costs on 30 pounds of dry dog food) to get the food. When I arrived I mentioned that the doctor never called me back and asked if she was presently in. I was told she was with a patient and I could wait.

I waited for a while but then decided I had spent enough time on this (about three hours when you add up all the waiting, net surfing and driving back and forth) so I bit the bullet and bought the food. I mentioned the big price increase again. I paid with my credit card and as I was signing the invoice, the same receptionist handed me a coupon for a $25 mail-in rebate.

Are you kidding me???? I spent over three hours dealing with this and all along she had a $25 coupon for a rebate!!!! I asked if these coupons were in the office last week. “Oh, yes. We always have them.” I asked why I was not offered this coupon when I first came in and she said, “Oh, I guess I just didn’t think of it.”

You didn’t think of it? Isn’t it your job to think? When a customer complains about the cost and you have a way to save her $25, shouldn’t you be thinking?  Hey everybody…if we’d all just STOP AND THINK a minute, we might save some time and money.  I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of wasting time with stupid people!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

-Mark Twain

This quote came in a holiday card I received at the end of 2008. I absolutely love it!  As we embark on this new year, with all of our economic woes, perhaps we can find comfort in Mr. Twain’s words.

Here’s to remembering the importance of the present moment. I wish you all a life filled with exploration, dreams and discovery.

Happy New Year!